Sue and Charles and Oliver and Jessica – and then Clare. A story showing effective help for a family does not have to be complicated
This is an anonymous case study sent to TAC Bulletin from Homestart to whom the family were referred by their health visitor.
Charles works in London so he leaves the house at 6.30am and is usually home by 7pm. He is regularly away from home on company business which can last for several weeks at a time.
Sue gave up work when their first child Oliver was born. Most of their friends are professionals without children so Sue feels isolated. Both Sue’s and Charles’ parents are elderly; they live in Norfolk and Dorset. Although they are helpful, Sue feels that with Oliver’s issues it would be too much for them to cope with, so therefore when they visit or vice versa she feels she can’t relax and is on duty all of the time. Sue was in desperate need of a friend and some respite. Sue felt that her relationship with her husband was beginning to suffer as they had not had a night out together since the birth of Oliver and she was beginning to feel depressed.
Oliver has behaviour difficulties, global delay, sensory issues, speech and language delay and is on the go from dawn to dusk with a few sleeping issues. Sue doesn’t like taking Oliver out as he tends to play up and can sometimes be aggressive.
Sue won’t leave him on his own with his sister in the room, as he tried to drag her out of the crib. The baby was okay and unharmed, but a bit distressed (as was Sue). Sue is frightened it may happen again if she is not being observant.
Jessica is an ideal second child, she is being breast fed and Sue is enjoying this better the second time as Oliver was so demanding. Sue feels more relaxed and in control with feeding Jessica, and that the baby is less demanding of her time and sleeps all through the night and has several long naps during the day. She continues to thrive and is a happy baby.
We matched Sue to Clare and she started visiting the family every week. At first the volunteer stayed in the family home primarily to get to know Sue and build up their relationship but also to observe Oliver at home and his likes and dislikes.
They played trains, cars and read books. This allowed Sue to have a bath and wash her hair, to leave the room without having to worry about Jessica.
I phoned Sue to see how the first visit went as at first she was unsure that she wanted someone in her home. What a relief, Sue thought from day one that her volunteer was the bee’s knees and Oliver got upset when it was time for her to go home.
After a few more visits, the volunteer Clare suggested that they all go to the local park. Sue was a bit apprehensive but agreed so they all went to the park and had a lovely time and Oliver was well behaved and held Clare’s hand all the way.
The following week they all went to the local Parent and Toddler group. Sue had been to the group before but hadn’t wanted to return because of Oliver’s aggressive behaviour. The session went well and Sue managed to chat to a few Mum’s while Clare played with Oliver. They began to attend regularly and slowly Sue began to regain her confidence so the volunteer started to meet her at the group.
Both Sue and Oliver looked forward to their volunteer visits and Oliver would look out the window when it was the day for her visit when the group was closed.
Several months later the local pre-school had a vacancy so Sue asked Clare to accompany her to the group. Oliver took to the pre-school like a duck to water, he was eager to go and Sue was grateful to have some time that she could now spend with Jessica.
After my review of the family it was decided to close the family file. Oliver was now in pre-school five sessions a week, his speech was improving and he was sometimes starting to sleep through the night. Sue said she felt so alive and had more energy and enthusiasm to get on and do the boring housework and she now had time to prepare the evening meal which was ready most of the time when Charles got home.
She said her life would never be the same as it was before the children but at least she was starting to enjoy it and how much she enjoyed Oliver’s laughing.
As a parting gesture the volunteer arranged to babysit so that Sue and Charles could go out for an evening.
Clare and Sue remain friends and are still in contact with each other.
Since 1987, Home-Start Medway, in the UK, has provided a unique service to local families who have at least one child aged under five. Local parents are recruited and trained to become volunteers, who then home-visit to offer emotional and practical support. Home visiting is what makes the service unique. Support needs range from isolation and bereavement to multiple birth and disability. Volunteers are often a lifeline in helping families overcome difficulties.
Home-Start Medway needs home-visiting volunteers who have parenting experience of children under the age of five.
Come along to our volunteer information session 10.00am-12.30pm, Wednesday 22nd June 2016 at 46 Green Street, Gillingham ME7 1XA.
Volunteers visit families once a week for 3-4 hours. The families will have at least one child under the age of five.
Volunteers offer emotional and practical support to parents/carers who may be struggling with a disability, bereavement, multiple birth etc.
Volunteers attend a free preparation course within school hours – in June we will be running our 76th course!
To register your interest: 01634 570 717 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Peter Limbrick writes: Though there is a growing army around the world of people worried about the health hazards of wi-fi in classrooms, the issue only rarely hits the headlines. I wonder if this is partly because we all value easy access to information and are unaware there are safe alternatives – and, perhaps, the idea that wi-fi is dangerous to our kids is just too disturbing to be faced. 
BASPCAN NATIONAL CONFERENCE - 'PUSHED, PULLED AND IGNORED' 