Raising Children Network - The Australian Parenting Website
When you find out your child has a disability, you might feel emotionally overwhelmed. This won't always be the case, however, and there are some effective ways to manage your feelings in the meantime.
This extract is from http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/disabilities_your_feelings.html
Your feelings: what to expect
Every parent is different. But after a diagnosis of disability, it's very common for parents to feel:
- confused and overwhelmed
- shocked
- disbelieving or numb
- denial.
A whole range of feelings is normal. As parents get used to the situation, they may feel sad, especially when thinking about their disappointed hopes and dreams for their child and themselves. There can be feelings of blame – directed towards themselves and other people – as well as fear about the future. Parents may also feel confused and overloaded, with too much information, not enough information, sometimes conflicting advice and pressure to make decisions.
Parents' feelings can be influenced by how their child's condition affects other aspects of their lives – it could have an impact on their work, social life, or even the amount of time they can spend on personal interests or hobbies. As with any family, the amount of support parents have from others, such as their partner, family and friends, also affects how they feel. For example, lots of encouraging support will help a parent feel more positive about their new role.
When parents finally get a diagnosis of their child's condition, many often feel a level of relief because it allows them to move on and find help. This relief can come from knowing that the earlier the diagnosis is made, the sooner they can begin to find appropriate help, support or services.
There's no 'right' way to feel. You can't prevent your feelings, and you shouldn't try. Dealing with your feelings is part of coming to terms with the diagnosis and moving on with your life, your child's life and your family's life.
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