Roz feels her life is on hold since Tilly was born and she can see no end to it. The argument began about money
This is number 39 of fifty pieces of poetry and prose written by Peter Limbrick as a monument to adults and children who have lived and died or are living now in inhuman situations. They are all inspired by real experience.
On Hold
Roz and Jeb are arguing. They love each other and their
baby daughter, Tilly, but they are both tired and stressed.
The argument began about money. Debts are piling up.
Jeb is worried he might be demoted at work because
people are saying how tired he looks. He thought Roz
should cut back on spending. Roz reminds him how
expensive Tilly is; the special buggy, the therapists, taxi
rides to the hospital since she gave up her car. They have
cancelled their summer holiday and the proofreading
course that might have brought an income. She does not
buy clothes any more. What else can they cut back on?
Roz feels her life is on hold since Tilly was born and she
can see no end to it.
Jeb suggested he could find extra work for evenings and
weekends but Roz is horrified at the thought of having
even more time on her own at home with Tilly. Jeb says
he knows how tired Roz gets but that his life is not easy
either, running training sessions after only three hours
sleep.
Jeb tries to lighten the mood, telling her Andrew and
Pavel have invited them to their civil partnership
barbecue on Sunday. Roz is pleased to hear from them,
they are the only neighbours who have ever taken an
interest in Tilly. They had actually come round to ask
why Tilly had stayed in hospital after Roz came home
from the maternity unit. Roz feels bitter that other
neighbours, whom she used to consider friends, are
avoiding her. A couple of them cross over when they see
her coming with Tilly.
But, she says, she cannot go to the barbecue because her
hair is a mess, she feels drab, she has nothing she could
wear and she would have no interesting conversation
since she gave up her hotel work. Her life has such a
narrow focus now looking after Tilly.
Jeb tries in vain to persuade her. She wants Jeb to go
with Tilly and leave her at home to catch up on some
sleep. Jeb has another idea. They could ask Roz’s mum to
baby sit while they go for a ramble over the hills like they
used to before Tilly came along. This will not work, says
Roz, because her mother is afraid to look after Tilly since
she saw her having one of her fits. There is no point
asking her to baby sit again.
But Roz has been thinking. While they are at the
barbecue she will bring Tilly’s cot into their bedroom and
arrange the put-you-up for Jeb in Tilly’s room. That way
he would get more sleep and be more effective at work.
Jeb has no answer to this and goes upstairs because Tilly
has woken up and is crying.
The other 49 pieces can be seen here:
In Mind - a written monument to all people with intellectual disability. (Items 1 to 10)
In Mind - a written monument to all people with intellectual disability. (Items 11 to 20)
In Mind - a written monument to all people with intellectual disability. (Items 21 to 30)
In Mind - a written monument to all people with intellectual disability. (Items 31 to 40)
In Mind - a written monument to all people with intellectual disability. (Items 41 to 50)
